Laughter

Always late but worth the wait.

My kitchen was clean last week. Sorry you missed it!

It's way too peopley outside.

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

If my mouth doesn't say it, my face definitely will.

I love my boss (I'm self-employed)

My kids laugh because they think I'm crazy. I laugh because they don't know it's hereditary.

I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now, I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" That entirely depends on the rest of the information you're about to give me.

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this", it usually smells nice.