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I couldn't find a parking spot today at work. So I went home. Looked like they had enough people.

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Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same.

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I don't usually brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station.

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Some call it multi-tasking. I call it doing something else while I try to remember what I was doing in the first place.

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I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in a body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

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Going to bed (phr.) Shutting down laptop and using your phone in bed.

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Every time you get dressed, remember: If you die, that's your ghost outfit.

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I'm just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

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I have a vision problem today. I can't see myself doing much.

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